I didn't shave. On purpose
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
