i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
