My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Less talking, more tequila
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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