help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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