So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he puts the penis in happiness.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
