No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize