I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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