Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
