i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
