Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
