Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
