I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
