Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
