I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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