i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I will pee on everything he values.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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