in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
