I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
