I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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