i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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