She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
