I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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