miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
