btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Every concussion has its silver lining
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
