elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
