this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize