Kiss
Puke
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
