I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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