Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
