Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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