How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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