Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
