i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize