fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
