guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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