I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am mentally ready for anal.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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