This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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