'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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