i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
