We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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