He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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