Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
