Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
