Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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