Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
