Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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