So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
