Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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