No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
