so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
