I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When did angry sex become our thing?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
