Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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