READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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