wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She told me I should be a condom model.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize