:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
