She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
