Soap is not a condiment
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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