I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we made out on top of his cat.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
