"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
