Please, let me fuck your mom
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
