No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
