i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize