She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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