This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It's Friday. Sex?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize