Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
