Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
