So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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