That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
