Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
