There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
