She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
