the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
