I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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